What REALLY matters?

So this blog thing is harder than I thought it would be. It's so easy to get wrapped up into life and just not keep up with it. I had one post I started and decided not to send. Maybe I'll do it at another time. I've found that I want to write and talk about the things in my life that really matter to me. But that's difficult, because that means getting personal. Which is fine for me, but may not be fine for the people who are involved in my personal life. And I must consider that. The truth is, the time in between my last post and this one has been filled with ups and downs and some challenging personal/life struggles for me. And writing what I felt during that time may not have been a good idea for various reasons.

Clearly, everybody has their issues. And their struggles. And their insecurities. And their arguments. And their fights. And mistakes. These are the things that often make it difficult to become the people we WANT to be, and live the lives we WANT to live. And sometimes we let these negative things rule our lives. We fail to see our positives. And our blessings. We miss opportunities because we surround ourselves in doubt and fear. We see the worst in people and situations. We push away the people who are the closest to us. That's probably the worst. We question their motives and pelt them with blame. And treat them horribly. We over-react. Sometimes we won't let them breathe. Sometimes we criticize their dreams or their fashion-sense. Sometimes we're simply selfish. Sometimes we're hypocrites. Maybe we even seek to control them. Sometimes we just want to be right, and are too stubborn to admit when we're wrong. Or even that we MIGHT be wrong.

My point is. Sometimes, we as humans take bad situations and make them worse, unknowingly. And our own unhappiness is redirected onto others. We blame them for our unhappiness and simultaneously make them unhappy. And we give too much power to all the things that don't matter quite as much. And by subconsciously relinquishing power we never really feel in control of anything in our lives. So what DOES really matter?

I'll answer that like this:

Yesterday, a loved one of mine got into a car accident on the highway that COULD have been horrible. She swerved to miss a careless driver that failed to check his mirror, lost control of her car, spun, ended up perpendicular to oncoming traffic and was then hit by a truck...and spun some more. Damn. The miraculous thing is that she survived with only some soreness. Nothing broken, no cuts, no bruises. Thank you God!

But that incident to me was a reminder of how much this person means to me, and how difficult life would be without her. Seemingly impossible. It reminded me of all the incredible attributes she offered to the world, and how awfully bland things would be without her spice, and fun-loving outlook. And at the same time I hope that she realizes from the outpour of support and concern, how much she means to EVERYONE, not just me. And I hope she was reminded what matters to her.

I can't say that incident put everything in perspective for me, because it didn't. I didn't have some sort of epiphany that would make every issue from that point forward clear or easy. I'm not going to now be free of missteps, or flaws. Or never argue. It doesn't work like that. I just remembered that we can't be so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget about the loved ones in our lives, and the respect they deserve. Whether we want to admit it or not, they are part of what shape us, and help us grow. They often look out for us and try to help us, even when we think they're being annoying, or controlling, or ridiculous, or clingy. They stand by us. They are imperfect, just like we are. But they are what matter. She is what matters. We are what matters. And that's something to fight for. And definitely something to live for.